So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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