it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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