By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my sisters under your porch take her home
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
