I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
