Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
