You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
