You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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