big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
