I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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