I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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