Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize