Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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