Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
