i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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