I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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