I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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