I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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