Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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