doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
