Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
