you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
