We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
