You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
