a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
