New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
