i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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