would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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