Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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