Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
