You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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