I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
false alarm. still invincible.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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