For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
