Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize