So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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