i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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