My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
