as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's blow job season.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
