I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
