I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
