i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
