O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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