its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
