I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
