she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
