i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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