This is not my ceiling
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
