Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pappa wants mamma naked
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
