I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
