You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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