me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
