hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
