All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
