Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am midnight drunk by noon
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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