WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
