I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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