Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dual....:-)
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Two words: blizzard sex
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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