Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
