I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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