hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
