I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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