She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
