Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
