you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize