i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
